The Feminine Crisis

I know several women who are troubled by the kind of feminine crisis Deida is describing in the following passage; I'm wondering if anyone – women particularly, young or old, have any comments on this.

The Feminine Crisis

At their deepest level, feminine love and masculine freedom are one openness of being. Nevertheless, the feminine and masculine journeys of growth unfold quite differently. The feminine sexual essence identifies with the love-light of openness, “Am I radiantly beautiful? Am I loved or loving?” The masculine sexual essence identifies with the freedom of openness, “What is my purpose? Am I successful and free?” Spiritual growth, for women and men, is about growing from superficial to deeper levels of these identities.

Feminine spiritual practice involves surrendering as and expressing the deepest light and love that flow through your heart, devoting your body to dancing love's dance, breathing love's bliss, and radiating love's light, moment by moment, regardless of how good or bad you feel. You don't need to deny your emotional ups and downs or your physical pains while you practice being love in their midst.

Your body is going to rot, no doubt. Sooner or later – usually sooner than you hope – you will look in the mirror, see your wrinkles, gray, and flab, and your heart will sink. This is the equivalent of a man's mid-life crisis, when his family life or career suddenly seems empty to him. The masculine part of you can experience the same mid-life crisis that a man does. But the feminine part of you goes through a very different kind of crisis, not of purpose but of light: “Am I still radiant?”

Because the feeling of light is love, when you doubt your radiance, your heart doubts love – unless you are able to grow in feminine depth. This requires learning to identify more with the radiance that shines from your heart through your body, rather than identifying with the superficial shine inherent in youthful flesh.

At a certain age in middle life, it is entirely natural for you to feel like your body is “betraying” you. Once you have learned how to cultivate physical radiance through dress, makeup, jewelry, and the sensual sashay of a feminine body, you have made your youth obsolete. Your young body – which is naturally radiant with energy – has served its purpose for the sake of your spiritual maturation. It is now time for you to continue growing and deepen your feminine art of love-light.

Your Embodiment of Light

Locate the love in your heart and practice shining it through your body. Allow the full spectrum, the entire rainbow, of love-energy to flow through your body. What might this practice look like in relationship with your lover? While making love, you can practice giving him the energy of a mother, your body transmitting nurturing and comforting love. You can give him the energy of a wild animal, your body transmitting love through untamed, dangerous, bestial force. You can give him the energy of a whore, your body transmitting love-energy in its slutty, lusty, dark form.

If your body is resistant to flowing with some aspect of feminine energy, then you will limit the force of love that can shine from your heart; you will weaken yourself. Practice flowing with the energy of love that you most resist. If you are comfortable giving tender motherly love but resistant to humping your man like a drunken slut, then you have more to learn in the art of transmitting love and light. If you have a feminine essence, then you grow spiritually by learning how to let every shade of love-energy flow from the depths of your heart to the tops of your tongue, fingers, nipples, and toes, into and through all of your relationships.

Spiritual growth means growing in your capacity to incarnate love and light. Your body learns to flow with the entire spectrum of love-energy, savage and pristine, motherly and witch-like, bitchy and saintly. Ultimately, your love embraces the whole universe, the entire display of energies, every possible form. To love this big, you must be willing to feel every possible emotion, allowing your body to flow with every possible energy, whether you like it or not.

-David Deida, Finding God Through Sex, pp. 82-85

This reminds me of the Cheryl Crow song that goes, "I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint..." Feminine energy is so awesome, in all its diverse forms. Some women get more and more fascinating and radiant as they get older - if they keep growing. It's a good thing. :)

arthur